Broken Experiences part 2

Hm! How time flies; days to weeks, weeks to months, months to years, years to decades. Like a Ghanaian will say, “Da bɛn da”. Kindly read the first Episode of Broken Experience here before proceeding to read this episode.

I remember those times when people used to mock me, insult me, disgrace me and even ‘query’ me for reasons I often times have no idea of. These made me become a stranger to my own self. Self-worth is something I never had. I used to see myself as someone not worthy of anything good and blame myself for anything and everything that went wrong on my side. Beauty was one thing I believed I never had, all my courage came from the work, duties or responsibilities I was able to execute very well. I always told myself, “if I am not good anywhere else, at least let me be good at what I do.” Till this day, I don’t really know my worth. I remember back at basic school; I once hadn’t paid my tutorial fees yet and my teacher called me out in the middle of the whole school and disgraced me. Guess what, I was the assistant school prefect then so you can imagine how the whole scene looked like.

Another unfortunate encounter I faced was when my slippers got torn. Back at basic school, I was the one in charge of the headmistress’s office. She once called for me to get something from her office and meet her with it when school was over. The mistress actually asked one of the teachers to call me. I politely told this teacher my sandals were torn and that my friend was going to mend them for me, this teacher didn’t take it easy with me; he looked at me from head to toe and started insulting me to the extent of calling me a lazy child. He finally concluded that I am good for nothing and asked me that, “can’t you walk bare footed?” I was in English class by then but this teacher sacked me out of the class. My heart was really sinking. I thought my English teacher would come to my rescue since I would get my sandals soon but she only stood there, watched me and said “you too ooo kyer3″. I remember how I walked barefooted out of the class in tears to the office and back to the classroom. How humiliating it was. There are many more I could share with you and I believe many of you might have gone through worse than I have. What have you learnt from your experiences? Mine was heart breaking, they added to my poor self-esteem. I wailed, I cried, I sought for comfort, I was searching for just a little love but to no avail. Little did I know all these experiences would be contributing factors to who I am and what I will become in future. Today, I am a shadow of my own self. I try to fight it; I try to battle it out but hey, they keep haunting me. I have moved on. I decided to seek for counsel which was gradually helping me. Today, I really do not need you to tell me I am beautiful to believe that. I can actually tell myself that and can boldly stare into the mirror. Like my good friend would say, “life happens.” Sometimes you don’t expect it but the unimaginable happens, things change, time changes.

You may have gone through worse experience than me but is it worth it to remain in the dark? Isn’t it time to come out into the light? Besides, what are you learning from these? Are you letting your old broken experiences have their way with you and keep you hanging? Oh come on, enough is enough. You got to get hold of your life. You got to live like no one’s business, you have to smile despite the broken experiences, you have to make a move.

Hey, relax, I know what you may be thinking as at now. You think it’s okay? It’s fine? You think it’s difficult to overcome your broken experience? I know it is ‘difficult.’ I haven’t fully recovered from mine anyway. Surprised? Just take it one day at a time. Pray constantly, asking God for help and He would guide you. It took a great deal and lots of efforts for me to be able to tell myself I am worthy. God helped me, coupled with the counselor who counseled me. But the truth is, it’s all dependent on you and how you avail yourself. These scriptures helped me a lot and I believe they will also help you. 1Peter 1:18, Ephesians 1:28, 1Corinthians 6:20, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 139:13-14 and many others. If you have Jesus with you, that is all o. He is more than enough. Whenever low self-esteem and negative thoughts come your way, ask yourself these questions

*Is there any substantial evidence for this thought?

*Is there evidence contrary to what I am thinking?

*Am I attempting to interpret this situation without all the evidence?

*If I look at this situation positively, how different will it be?

*Will it matter years from now?

Remember the song by Sinach, “I know who I am?” Please if you don’t know it, kindly download it and sing the song with all conviction because you are walking in power and you live a life of favor. You need to move on and take that bold step. Make a change.

Don’t forget to leave your comments and your own experiences. It could encourage someone…Till next time, take care.